The Ugly Truth

29 Sep

I’ve gone a long way from being naive about people. Growing up, I liked to think of myself in a pedestal. I always tried to achieve where my strength lied, and I was always harder on myself whenever I felt like I failed the people around me. But as I grew older, I started to understand people.

We have the innate ability to forget when people do good and magnify mistakes when they make the wrong choices in life. Loyalty isn’t always rewarded with loyalty. Most of the time, people tell you what you want to hear when they’re in front of you and speak of the foulest things behind your back. Probably, the reason why this was very hard for me to accept was because I’ve always tried to see the good in the people around me. And it was very hard for me to come into terms with the fact that others are just not the same. People tend to focus on the bad things. You do a lot of good things for them, and then the minute you start becoming imperfect, all of that gets thrown out in the drain.

I told myself that I could be indifferent and that I could stop myself from getting hurt when I hear and when I read about the negative things that other people say, but again, we are subject to the petty emotions of being human. And here, I find myself writing about being devastated and disappointed. What amazes me is how people can hold two faces at a time, how natural it is for people to be Dr Jekyl and Hyde. One minute they can act like your friend, but behind your back they’re saying all the things you couldn’t possibly fathom to say about them. 

It is a long road. But I don’t regret anything that I’ve done because I know that at least for myself, I am continuously trying to be a better person even if every single time I try my best to take a step forward, I always find myself ten steps back. I know where I’ve failed, and I know where I should improve. The problem with most people is that they have no idea what they’re doing wrong. They think that hurting others and pretending to be their friend is something that is natural. You can’t correct something when you don’t know that it’s wrong. At the end of the day, you only answer to yourself and you should be able to own up to every bad choice you’ve made in your life. I don’t owe anyone an explanation for being human. I only owe it to God, to my family, and to myself.

It would take a long time before I could finally stop caring about what other people say, and start fully focusing on how I could improve myself. Slowly, I can take back the ten steps and just keep moving forward.

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