Our Haunted Story Part II

1 Apr

things became worse after yesterday.

it went to the point where she attempted to hurt herself using a knife. she would even use bottles or anything hard to hit her head.

the 4am knocks, her sleepless nights, her endless dieting is still there. and nothing i say would ever go through her.

everyday it seems like she’s getting worse.

and i wish i could do something to help her.

i get mad. i feel sad. i don’t know what to do.

i just wish i’d wake up from this nightmare and find dai2 the same as she was before. weird as she was, we loved her like a family member.

we accepted her.

and for someone like her, she needs acceptance and understanding. but sadly, we cannot sacrifice our lives and our careers to take care of her. as much as i want to help her, i cannot – she would not.

she doesn’t want to be helped. she’s not even helping herself.

last night, we decided to let her go home. we cannot go on like this. she needs to be with her family. she needs people to talk to. and as much as i hate to admit it, we cannot give that to her. we lead very busy lives. we cannot hang around the house and talk to her all day so she won’t feel lonely.

she was hired to take care of the house because we won’t be around that much. but looks like the loneliness has taken its toll on her.

i will miss her though. i will miss our television show talks.  i will miss her fashion shows whenever she bought new clothes from punta. i will miss her funny stories and her weird comments. i will miss her childishness. i will miss the way she took care of us.

despite what has happened to her right now, i cannot forget the fact that she was there to take care of us for several years. my entire college life, i depended on her to prepare my uniform every day. she would listen to my stories even if she doesn’t understand.

she would insist that i eat breakfast or prepare me sandwich for my baon. dai2 was our big ate. she took care of us.

i cannot forget the most touching comment she ever made. The day i told her i would be living in Davao for 2 months for work. she said, “nya kinsa man manglaba sa imong sanina?

I would always make it a point to bring her something from the provinces i went to. i wanted her to be happy. i would encourage her to go out on Sundays but she would insist on staying home. she was contented with just having the tv.

most of all, we trusted her. it’s painful for someone to hurt you when you’ve given that someone your entire trust.

its frustrating because i want with all my heart to let her stay. but we have to let her go. she just decided to give up on life. and there is nothing me or my sister would be able to do.

i pray that she will get well. we will do our best to take care of her while she’s sitll here. i believe deep in my heart that she cannot kill herself. she doesn’t have it in her. she just wants attention. she’s just lonely.

its sad. im very sad. it feels like im saying goodbye to one of the members in my family.

…and i hate goodbyes.


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